I’m not a Valentine’s Day fan. I’m a fan of love, but when a holiday rolls around that tells me to spend money and do certain things to prove I love my wife, the rebel in me wants to not do those things. I don’t need a holiday to tell me how to love my wife! Maybe instead of buying into flowers and fancy dinners and the “pressure” of Valentine’s Day, perhaps we can twist it into something good.

Smell The Figurative Roses

I don’t know about you, but sometimes life can feel like a non-stop sprint. Between work, getting kids to school, baseball practice, church events…there is a lot going on. That’s not necessarily bad (though it can be…more on that some other time), but when our calendars are bursting at the seams, it’s easy to lose sight of our priorities.

As we trudge through the battleground of life, sometimes we get tunnel vision. We have all these tasks to tackle that consume our thoughts, and if we’re not careful, we can neglect relationships. Even if you’re fed up with Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday, maybe we can use it as a reminder. A chance to stop and think about how we love our significant other, and what we’re doing to show it.

Love Does Stuff

When you get married, I think there is a sigh of relief that the “I need to impress you” phase of your relationship is over. When my wife and I were dating we’d leave each other little love notes, buy each other thoughtful gifts, and just go all out to show our love for each other. That’s great and all, but there’s something really peaceful about getting married. You make that commitment to one another, and you feel really confident about the love you have.

The impress each other phase might be over, but actions still matter. If we truly love someone else, that devotion should come out in what we do and say, and it doesn’t happen by accident. We need to be intentional about showing our love for each other. What are you doing that makes your wife feel loved? They can be small gestures like helping out around the house, or maybe it’s a big gesture like a special vacation. Every couple is different, so communication is important. Some women may like getting flowers, and some women see them for the waste of money that they are. Sorry flower lovers, I told you I would get offensive. Men who married a flower lover, it’s too late for you. Suck it up and buy them flowers.

Consider Me Reminded

Aside from the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, maybe the reason some of us detest the holiday is because it reminds us what a bad job we’ve doing the rest of the year. Doing something for your wife on Valentine’s Day is nice, but it shouldn’t be the only time all year you treat her special. I’m guilty of this. We get comfortable in our relationship, and the next thing you know a few months have gone by without a date night. I need to do a better job of being intentional, planning special time to make my wife feel special, and remind her that the commitment we made years ago means as much to me today as it did then.

I don’t like you Valentine’s Day, but thanks for the reminder.

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Nathan Charlton
A husband and father of three, he is first and foremost a Christian, but will openly admit he doesn't have everything figured out. His passions include writing, spending time with his family, and any game by Blizzard.

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