Change is difficult. It’s even more difficult when someone tells you to change. Your ego kicks in and says “I’ll change when I want to change, thank you very much!” We simply don’t like being told what to do. Before any real change is going to take place a person has to look at their life, behavior, relationships, whatever is, and want it to be better…to believe it could be better. Until that inner switch gets flipped, any talk of change is falling on deaf ears. So where does that desire come from?
My gut says it’s a lot easier to see that need for change when life is going bad. If our marriage is on the rocks, or we’re battling an addiction, we have these major problems front and center that are affecting us everyday. Because those problems are so big and life altering, the incentive to change is obvious. No one wants a marriage full of yelling and screaming and pain. No one wants relationships to be destroyed by addiction. Yet it happens. Despite the obvious warning signs, some people don’t seek marital counseling, or treatment for addiction, or take meaningful steps to change. They just continue down that hole until they hit the bottom, and then wonder how they got there. So even when you’re drowning in problems, change can be difficult.
The problem is most of us aren’t drowning. We would probably describe life as good or OK. How do you convince someone to change when they don’t even see a problem? And that brings me to one of my early challenges that I’ve been thinking about. How do I present ideas to people in a way that will make them open to the idea of change? (And I apologize if these first few posts are really philosophical. It’s my way of deciding where I’m going and how I’m going to get there. If you’re waiting for the posts titled “Why Do Men Suck at Laundry?” and “How Do I Get My Wife to Have More Sex?” just stay tuned!)
I went through a lot of potential names for the website before I landed on this one. Early on I wanted to rule out names like “Be a Better Man,” because they sounded accusatory. If you need to be a better man, you must not be a very good one right now. I was drawn to words like ponder and contemplate. Here are some thoughts to consider. I want people to listen, so I need to find a style that is approachable. If people don’t want to listen, then I’m wasting my time. One of the first major things I’ve realized is, you can expect to see some words repeated here quite a bit.
Perhaps. Maybe. It’s possible. I think.
I’m not here to tell men what to do. I’m here to get men to think about what they want to do. Maybe there’s a change they need to make, and they’ve never even considered it. In fact, I’m sure there are changes that I need to make, and I look forward to sharing those with people. I want to go on a journey, and I want people to come with me. Hopefully along the way we get to some crossroads, to places where we see new possibilities. New opportunities to grow, and make life better for ourselves and those around us.
What makes you willing to listen and open your mind to a new way of thinking about something?